


Good Morning Gotham

by TheEleventhDog



Category: DCU
Genre: Characters Reading Fanfiction, Crack, Fanfiction, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, International Fanworks Day 2020, Misunderstandings, Other, Protective Dick Grayson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22533412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEleventhDog/pseuds/TheEleventhDog
Summary: Dick just wants one normal morning.
Relationships: Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	Good Morning Gotham

**Author's Note:**

> International Fanworks Day 2020  
> Prompt: Characters react to discovering fanworks they are in.

It is a good morning. The best type of morning, one of the rare days in Gotham that you can wake up and feel the sun on your skin. Jason and Stephanie had stayed over to work on a case with Tim. Their laughter drifts into the kitchen, it makes Dick’s chest feel warm and he can’t help smiling while pouring milk into his cereal. This is how it should be. Bruce will be up soon then they can all eat breakfast together as a family.

Dick sits on the counter with them in sight.

Jason says something to Tim and shoves his shoulder, Tim’s face goes bright red and the three of them break out laughing again. Dick can feel the thump of Stephanie falling off the couch, she lays on the floor clutching her stomach.

Damian stalks out of the room and stops in front of him. His face is redder than Tim’s was, like a small angry tomato. A cute one of course. Dick swallows his mouthful of cereal and greets him, “morning, Dami.”

“Grayson, make them stop.”

“They’re allowed to laugh, Dames.”

“They’re— they’re not,” Damian is fuming, his hands are fists at his sides. “They’re attempting to slander my reputation and the Wayne name. It’s unacceptable.”

If Dick had a quarter for every time he heard that he’d be as rich as Bruce. “Did Stephanie make fun of your height again? You know she only does that because—"

“Brown has accused me of having relations with Drake.”

It was a good morning.

“Stephanie thinks you’re dating Tim?” Damian’s looking everywhere but at him and Dick can’t help thinking about all those years of pigtail pulling. “Are you dating Tim?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Damian, your Habibi misses you,” Stephanie calls from the other room. Her words are strung out and teasing, and call it Big Brother instincts but Dick feels a fight waiting to happen. When was the last time Stephanie, Tim, and Jason all found something funny? Besides that one time that Dick chooses to ignore because no.

“I will disembowel you, Brown.” Damian’s shouting is followed by more laughter. Good thing they convinced him to stop carrying his sword around. Damian turns back to Dick with his arms crossed. “Make them stop.”

“I’ll talk to them.” What else can he do? Damian’s one taunt away from a knife fight, and Bruce isn’t even up yet. Maybe he can still save this morning.

“Tt.” Damian stalks off with his chin held high, Dick can only shake his head. It’s tough being the oldest. Especially to a family of emotionally stunted vigilantes who seem to get off on pissing each other off, he can’t even get one morning. It’s a beautiful, sunny out, and Damian’s dating Tim, and Stephanie, Tim, and Jason may or may not be doing something weird in the other room, and his cereal’s mushy.

Yet Dick wouldn’t trade them for the world, even if it means having to deal with things like this daily. After all, it wouldn’t be a good morning without them. But, he still has to talk to Stephanie about whatever she’s doing. Damian’s going to throw a fit, or a knife if she doesn’t tone it down.

He sighs and sets down his cereal. Time to go see what’s going on. It’s not often that Tim’s, Stephanie’s, and Jason’s humor is on the same page, Dick’s kind of curious. He wouldn’t say no to some quality time watching funny videos.

Hopping off the counter Dick walks towards them. Stephanie’s back on the couch next to Tim, Jason is talking while leaning over the back with a hand on both her and Tim’s shoulders. They’ve all got big grins on their faces. Dick starts to ask what they’re looking at when he catches the tail end of what Jason’s saying.

The phrase having the rug pulled out from under you doesn’t quite cover the feeling that the words, ‘don’t forget me fucking Tim in some back alley,’ provoke. Dicks blanks.

He did not hear that. No. Not this morning. This was a _good morning_.

Jason did not just say he had sex with Tim.

Now he can’t not help noticing how flushed and embarrassed Tim looks or stop zeroing in on Jason’s hand on his shoulder. It’s there. On Tim’s shoulder. Jason’s hand. On Tim. Jason had sex with Tim.

Jason’s on the ground clutching his nose before Dick can think twice. “What the hell, Jason. I can’t believe you had sex with Tim. He’s just a kid.”

Jason opens and closes his mouth. Dick half doesn’t want to hear what he has to say, doesn’t want to hear him try and justify himself but he also does because what. The. Hell. On the couch Stephanie starts cackling.

“An alley. Really, Jason,” Dick says, his words are almost lost under the laughter as Jason joins in. “It’s not funny.”

Stephanie presses her face into Tim’s shirt while her shoulders shake. Dick’s left standing there with his hands shaking until she pulls herself together and says, “it kind of is.”

“Will one of you explain what’s going on?”

Stephanie elbows Tim. “Tim.”

“It’s a bit of a long story,” Tim starts, pointedly not looking up from his phone. “After the Vickie Vale incident with me fake getting shot and Red Robin swooping in to take down the bad guy, there was this tag trending. It had my name and Red Robin’s in it, so I clicked on it in case it was something compromising and.” He scratches the back of his neck. “And then I had to show Steph.”

“Show her what?” Does he really want to know?

Jason dusts off the back of his pants and sits on the arm of the couch. He throws an arm around Tim’s shoulder before answering. “Timbit here is shacking up with Red Robin.”

“He’s… what?” And Dick’s still stuck on Tim having sex with Jason, he’s never going to get past that. Tim and Jason. Having sex. Whatever Jason just said can’t be nearly as horrifying as that.

“Yeah, he’s really been getting around. Let me see,” Jason says. Tim hands him the phone easily, and Jason starts typing. “Here we go; Red Robin, Robin, Batgirl, Spoiler, Red Hood, Batman, _Nightwing_.” Jason waggles his eyebrows. “Superboy, Super _man_ , Wonder Girl, Raven, Starfire, Impulse, I’m telling ya, the list just keeps going.”

Stephanie picks up where he left off. “The internet has decided that Brucie doesn’t give Tim the appreciation he deserves, so Tim needs to bang a vigilante who will treat him right. Mostly Red Robin. Red Robin is Tim’s man now.”

“It’s a citywide callout for Tim to go fuck himself,” Jason says.

“What does any of that have to do with you having sex with Tim in an alley?”

“We’re reading fanfiction, Dickhead.”

“You’re reading what?”

“Fan. Fiction. It’s fun.”

“I thought you guys were working on a case.”

Stephanie answers this time. “We are, we’re investigating a possible threat to our secret identities.”

“Fanfiction?”

“Fanfiction.” She nods.

“All three of you.”

“Yep.”

“So, when you accused Damian of dating Tim, was that fanfiction too?”

Stephanie crosses her arms. “I didn’t ‘accuse’ him of anything. He was being a little brat, so I just happened to read a very graphic fic about him hooking up with Tim in an office. It was funny as hell. He calls Tim, Habibi.”

“Brat ran off when I suggested we act the scenes out,” Jason says it like that’s a completely normal thing to do.

Stephanie seems to think so. “Ten bucks says he’s looking it up right now.”

“No bet.”

“Coward.”

“So… you didn’t have sex with Tim?” Dick’s going to ignore everything they just said, he doesn’t need that in his life. He just needs a straight answer.

“After that punch, I’m sure as hell not telling ya I did,” Jason says, and that is not a straight answer.

“What he means is no,” Tim clarifies.

Thank God. Dick’s mind is never going to know peace but thank God.

“Jason Todd meets the boy next door, Tim Drake. AU where Jason Todd is alive,” Jason reads off the phone.

Stephanie leans over Tim to look at the screen. “Oh god, that’s awful. Click on it.”

Their attention is back on the phone and Dick leaves the room the moment Jason starts reading. It’s way too early in the morning to comprehend any of that, he makes another bowl of cereal and sits back on the counter.

“Morning, Bruce,” Dick says as Bruce wanders in with a coffee in hand. He doesn’t get more than a grunt in reply. Dick moves to sit closer to him. “They’re reading fanfiction.”

He doesn’t even look up from the newspaper he’s reading.

After the shock Dick just had, there’s no way he’s letting Bruce have a peaceful morning. Dick tugs on his newspaper. “Bruce, I’m trying to share my pain with you, I’ve been scarred for life.”

Nothing. Maybe he should tell Bruce about the compromising stories Tim found online. As Batman, he’d be obligated and would check and read every one to ensure they weren’t threats to their identities.

He doesn’t have to.

Stephanie’s gleeful shouting breaks the silence, “AU where Bruce Wayne is Batman.”

Dick doesn’t think Bruce has ever turned around that fast.

**Author's Note:**

> There's no way Stephanie and Jason wouldn't find fanfiction hilarious.


End file.
